Adoption a second choice?

Theres been many adoption blogs and articles come across my Facebook feed lately.

All these articles mention or end up focusing on whether or not adoption was a second choice, or even a last resort for adoptive parents to start a family.

Going off my OWN experience only, I sometimes get upset at this whole way of thinking.  Even just this topic.

I personally always knew I wanted to be a mom.  (Ask my friends who remember me from elementary, middle and high school, they will concur!)

I also knew that adoption was special to me.

But being a MOM, having a family, was my first choice.  How I got there, or what that family would look like, didnt make as much difference to me.

I wanted to marry a great guy, and have kids.

Pretty simple.

My husband knew I had a heart for adoption.  I had almost a magnetic attraction to it, like it was part of my destiny.  The Holy Spirit started speaking to me about just how my family would be, long before I met my husband.  And when I met my husband, I spoke about adopting often.
A seed had been planted in my heart.  And it was slowly growing.

Then I got pregnant, unplanned and unexpected.

Having a biological child wasn't necessarily my first choice.  It happened.  But I hadn't made that conscientious decision.

And then another pregnancy occurred, shortly after my daughter was born.  This time, my son came into the world...loved, but not planned.

And then something else happened, unplanned, and definitely not by choice.  I had cancer... and fought it with chemicals, sacrificing the chances that I would get pregnant again.

So we finally made a choice to begin the process of fostering in our state.  I knew my intention was to adopt.  But I didnt have any idea what the adoption process would look like.  I didnt know if I would be adopting a teenager or a newborn.  And to be honest, I didnt even know if an adoption would come from fostering.  Nothing was certain.

When we had 4 day old G placed into our home, I made the choice to love her.  (And it was pretty easy to do! :) )  I didnt KNOW if she would become my legal child, I just knew I loved her with every ounce of my soul, and that if she could be my child forever, it would be a blessing.

When we were given the opportunity, we adopted her into our family forever.

Shortly after, her biological mother informed us she was very pregnant, with a baby boy this time.  Again, I knew I would love him, just like his sister before him.  We made the choice that if the opportunity was presented to us, we would also accept him into our growing family and love him forever.  Choices like that are easy to make.


And I think a lot of the parents being accused of adopting as a last resort, are similar to our family.  Their first choice is family.  It may occur differently than they had first pictured it.  But ultimately the choice is LOVE.

And you know what?!

It isn't entirely our choice to make. God had already made the choices for us.  He has placed each of His children in the family that He had created for them.



Heres my point to all of this:

Neither my biological or adopted children were particularly my first or last choice.  I never made a deliberate choice to become pregnant when I did.  And I could never have foreseen that G and then P would be placed in our home.
God created this path.  He knew exactly where I had to be on this path, and which step I had to make, to bring these children into my arms, precisely when they did.

And thats what He is doing when families experience infertility but desire children.  He is placing them on a path and guiding their steps to another child or children.


Why don't we stop putting negative spins on adoption by saying that adoption was a last choice for the adopting couple?  (This is spiritual welfare on the blessing that adoption is.  Adoption simply is God's will.)
Let's be happy that there is a family for a child, when there wasn't one before.  Lets be happy that a parent is given hugs and love of a child that they didnt have before.

GOD'S CHOICE IS PLACING CHILDREN IN THE ARMS OF MOTHERS AND FATHERS.  HE DOESNT ALWAYS WORK WITH HUMAN BIOLOGY.  HE CAN DO MUCH MORE THAN SCIENCE.  HE CAN CREATE MIRACLES.