Loving without borders

My heart is breaking lately.

Over and over.  Each time I think about the border children crisis we have in our country, my heart crumbles.
I cry at my computer, in the shower and driving the kids to school and doctor appointments.

Heres why, guys:

The numbers are now closer to 75,000 children refugees that have entered our country without parents.  Our country still hasn't made a clear plan on how to approach this situation, or what to do for or with these little ones.

The problem we, as a nation, are having is not humanizing this crisis.  We are hearing the numbers, doing the math, trying to work out how on earth we can provide for these kids and stay afloat ourselves.
Where will these kids go?  Who will pay for the financial "burden" they put on our education system?  How can our economy, that hasn't quite made a big comeback since 2008, support welfare programs, food assistance programs, education programs, housing assistance, and even possibly more crime prevention?

Those are just some of the questions on the table.

By people who aren't seeing the faces of these kids.

By people who live in safe homes in safe neighborhoods, with warm beds and pantries full of food.

By people with beautiful children in their homes who have never had to IMAGINE telling their children that they needed to leave their homes and family behind.

But I can imagine these things. 

I picture the look on my oldest two children's faces, if they were told by Dan and me, their father and mother, their protectors, providers, their whole world, that they needed to leave us.  Alone or together, they had to go... where I would not be to take care of them.  Where they may never see me alive again.  Telling your children to go far away, to a foreign place, where they would know no one and couldn't speak the language. 

If you have kids, try to picture that scenario in your head.  The confusion on your children's faces,  the despair, the look of a heart crumbling in front of you.  The hearts you would do anything to protect.  The hearts that you love more than yourself.  Watching as your whole world leaves you.  Fear, sadness, confusion in their eyes. 
Trying to be strong in front of them so they trust your decision. 

It's hard to think about, isn't it? 

I can't do it without tears.

We can't fathom life being that bad that we would send our children anywhere without us. 

So it's bad.  

It's really, really bad, everyone.  Honduras is the murder capital of the world.  The. World. 

These kids see terrible things in their home land. Daily.

And they are told here it will be better.  Even if their family is not here with them.  What a HUGE sacrifice these small children are making for the hopes of a better life. 

(By the way, the same reason why our ancestors came.  Please don't forget. )

So when these kids make this dangerous trek to get to the States, and get here, can you imagine what their thoughts are, as they are herded into warehouse or prison like facilities?  "We left our family for this?" 

These kids need love.  Oh man, do they need love.  

They need some joy. 

They need arms around them daily. 
They need someone by their bedside after nightmares of memories. 
They need their scratches and scrapes kissed. 
They need to be a face that the public sees, and a reminder of how wonderful children are. 
They need to laugh. 
They need to be taught God's love for them, and they need to see our example of God's love in their lives. 

What they don't need is to be a math problem.  Or an economic crisis. 
They don't need to be amidst thousands of other kids in a facility. 

I would LOVE to love on ALL these kids.  But I can only do so much.  I am only one woman. 
That's why these kids need more people like me, people who give them a face.  People who view their lives more important than money and materialism. 

I'm taking part of an initiative called 1000 KIDS FOR IOWA, looking for homes for at least 1000 refugee kids in our state. 

If you can put faces to these beautiful,  broken children,  If you desire to love them, If you think they deserve more than a warehouse home, then please consider signing on to help at www.1000kidsforiowa.org. 

They need people like you and me. 

Picture credit from 1000 Kids for Iowa website

Adoption a second choice?

Theres been many adoption blogs and articles come across my Facebook feed lately.

All these articles mention or end up focusing on whether or not adoption was a second choice, or even a last resort for adoptive parents to start a family.

Going off my OWN experience only, I sometimes get upset at this whole way of thinking.  Even just this topic.

I personally always knew I wanted to be a mom.  (Ask my friends who remember me from elementary, middle and high school, they will concur!)

I also knew that adoption was special to me.

But being a MOM, having a family, was my first choice.  How I got there, or what that family would look like, didnt make as much difference to me.

I wanted to marry a great guy, and have kids.

Pretty simple.

My husband knew I had a heart for adoption.  I had almost a magnetic attraction to it, like it was part of my destiny.  The Holy Spirit started speaking to me about just how my family would be, long before I met my husband.  And when I met my husband, I spoke about adopting often.
A seed had been planted in my heart.  And it was slowly growing.

Then I got pregnant, unplanned and unexpected.

Having a biological child wasn't necessarily my first choice.  It happened.  But I hadn't made that conscientious decision.

And then another pregnancy occurred, shortly after my daughter was born.  This time, my son came into the world...loved, but not planned.

And then something else happened, unplanned, and definitely not by choice.  I had cancer... and fought it with chemicals, sacrificing the chances that I would get pregnant again.

So we finally made a choice to begin the process of fostering in our state.  I knew my intention was to adopt.  But I didnt have any idea what the adoption process would look like.  I didnt know if I would be adopting a teenager or a newborn.  And to be honest, I didnt even know if an adoption would come from fostering.  Nothing was certain.

When we had 4 day old G placed into our home, I made the choice to love her.  (And it was pretty easy to do! :) )  I didnt KNOW if she would become my legal child, I just knew I loved her with every ounce of my soul, and that if she could be my child forever, it would be a blessing.

When we were given the opportunity, we adopted her into our family forever.

Shortly after, her biological mother informed us she was very pregnant, with a baby boy this time.  Again, I knew I would love him, just like his sister before him.  We made the choice that if the opportunity was presented to us, we would also accept him into our growing family and love him forever.  Choices like that are easy to make.


And I think a lot of the parents being accused of adopting as a last resort, are similar to our family.  Their first choice is family.  It may occur differently than they had first pictured it.  But ultimately the choice is LOVE.

And you know what?!

It isn't entirely our choice to make. God had already made the choices for us.  He has placed each of His children in the family that He had created for them.



Heres my point to all of this:

Neither my biological or adopted children were particularly my first or last choice.  I never made a deliberate choice to become pregnant when I did.  And I could never have foreseen that G and then P would be placed in our home.
God created this path.  He knew exactly where I had to be on this path, and which step I had to make, to bring these children into my arms, precisely when they did.

And thats what He is doing when families experience infertility but desire children.  He is placing them on a path and guiding their steps to another child or children.


Why don't we stop putting negative spins on adoption by saying that adoption was a last choice for the adopting couple?  (This is spiritual welfare on the blessing that adoption is.  Adoption simply is God's will.)
Let's be happy that there is a family for a child, when there wasn't one before.  Lets be happy that a parent is given hugs and love of a child that they didnt have before.

GOD'S CHOICE IS PLACING CHILDREN IN THE ARMS OF MOTHERS AND FATHERS.  HE DOESNT ALWAYS WORK WITH HUMAN BIOLOGY.  HE CAN DO MUCH MORE THAN SCIENCE.  HE CAN CREATE MIRACLES.