So many times, as I welcome people into my life, I stop for a second, and think, "Oh, boy, am I comfortable with this person knowing the real me?"
So often, when people call me and tell me they are stopping over shortly, I panic. I give a disclaimer like, "Just so you know, my house is a HUGE mess today." I pretend like today is an exception, like this ONE day I decided to slack on my housekeeping responsibilities. The truth is more like, if my house is clean, that one day is an exception. If you come to my house and it is clean, my kids are either gone for the week (because thats how long it would take to get my house clean) AND I've been overdosing on caffeine, or you better walk right back out that door, because you are in the wrong house, my dear.
It would be more honest to be upfront in the beginning of a friendship to say, "My house is never going to be clean, Enter at your own risk. We've got toys strewn around like a daycare center. We've probably got germs on every door knob, and you never know where my kids have wiped their snot, assuming they didn't eat it first. But sure, stop over! You're welcome anytime!" I wonder who would stop over anyway.
Now, typically, if I'm given slight warning, I sweep the living room floor real quick. I might arm each kid with a baby wipe (This works far better than handing them a spray bottle of cleaner. Someone always ends up soaked and crying. ) and have them scrub the table and any gross spots on the floor. But if you look, there will always be spilled milk somewhere on the floor, possibly even accompanied by smashed banana, old gum, dirt, dog hair, sometimes even grass. My kitchen counters will most likely have a smudge of jelly, and/or baby formula powder somewhere. And if that's all, Hallelujah!
Dont enter my bedroom or my basement or you will discover my 5 to 6 loads of laundry that's needed washed or folded since last month. The kids' beds are never made, and I still can't decide why that drives me so nuts, when my own never gets made either.
So often, when people call me and tell me they are stopping over shortly, I panic. I give a disclaimer like, "Just so you know, my house is a HUGE mess today." I pretend like today is an exception, like this ONE day I decided to slack on my housekeeping responsibilities. The truth is more like, if my house is clean, that one day is an exception. If you come to my house and it is clean, my kids are either gone for the week (because thats how long it would take to get my house clean) AND I've been overdosing on caffeine, or you better walk right back out that door, because you are in the wrong house, my dear.
It would be more honest to be upfront in the beginning of a friendship to say, "My house is never going to be clean, Enter at your own risk. We've got toys strewn around like a daycare center. We've probably got germs on every door knob, and you never know where my kids have wiped their snot, assuming they didn't eat it first. But sure, stop over! You're welcome anytime!" I wonder who would stop over anyway.
Now, typically, if I'm given slight warning, I sweep the living room floor real quick. I might arm each kid with a baby wipe (This works far better than handing them a spray bottle of cleaner. Someone always ends up soaked and crying. ) and have them scrub the table and any gross spots on the floor. But if you look, there will always be spilled milk somewhere on the floor, possibly even accompanied by smashed banana, old gum, dirt, dog hair, sometimes even grass. My kitchen counters will most likely have a smudge of jelly, and/or baby formula powder somewhere. And if that's all, Hallelujah!
Dont enter my bedroom or my basement or you will discover my 5 to 6 loads of laundry that's needed washed or folded since last month. The kids' beds are never made, and I still can't decide why that drives me so nuts, when my own never gets made either.
I have a 5 year old daughter, a four year old son and an infant living all under this roof. Some weekends, my six year old step daughter gets thrown into the mix. You might say its understandable, its ok. But Im a stay at home mom now. Does that change your thinking? I know my husband was anticipating a clean house and great meals ready when he got home from work, when he gave me the ok to stay home with our kids recently. I maybe thought that would be the case too. Ha!
Recently my husband went on a four day trip to Chicago. It happened to be the week I had caught a nasty virus and my immune system was shot. All I wanted to do was stay in bed with the covers pulled up tightly over my ears. I didn't want to get up at six to an awake and fussy baby or fight with my daughter about what was and wasn't appropriate to wear to kindergarten. At eight o'clock those nights, I was cashed in. Exhausted and asleep with my preschooler and kindergartners in my bed, rather than fighting with them about where they wanted to sleep. (Plus without my strong and mighty husband here, we wanted to all be close in case the Boogy Man came to get us. (My fears. Not theirs. )
I cried one of those nights. Sick. Tired. Exhausted from breaking up fights over who got what crayon, or who got to pick out which movie. I thought, "This stay at home mom business is ALL I ever wanted to do... But it's SOOOO hard!!!! There literally is never a break." Those four days were pretty awful. I was sick and I didn't have a husband home at night to play referee with me. I know I can't do it all without him. (Even though that pains me to admit. )
I want to be all things. A patient mom. A loving mom. A read-five-books-with-your-kids-each-night mom. A tender hearted and supportive wife. A great house keeper. A Betty Crocker in the kitchen. An environmental, organic vegetarian meal preparing mom. A yoga mom. A Dave Ramsey following mom. A coupon cutting mom. A recycling, composting, gardening mom. A Christ-like (if not, at least "Mary -like") mother. A fashionable (even though my age starts with a "3" now and not a 2) mom. A fun and talkative friend.
It's hard to wear all these hats at the same time. I can't do it. Not all the time. I can only wear a few of them at any given moment. Some stay on permanently, and some keep slipping off. Some I should probably just let go and stop picking up. But the point is, as a mom, I honestly try. I honestly love. And honestly I don't get it right all the time. I am continuously asking for forgiveness from my kids when I grow impatient and yell at them. I ask forgiveness from my husband when I'm too distracted with the kids to realize he needs attention too. And I ask (sometimes beg) for God's forgiveness for so many things I'm not getting "just right" and ask for help to become better.
(I don't ask forgiveness for this messy house. (Unless you've fallen over a toy and injured) Life is messy. It's crazy. But its full of love amidst of all that. Perfect example. Right here.)
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