Why I blog about adoption

My Facebook friends- you know the ones who haven't seen me since high school or used to work with me three years ago or knew me during my cancer struggle- they often tell me how beautiful my family is.  How adorable my kids are.  Ive been told that my kids look like angels, at which I laughed until I snorted and choked on air.

But I actually get it.  Our family is a little bit different and it APPEARS to be great.

My kids are pretty photogenic...so Facebook gives a great impression.

But they are still REAL kids.  Adopted kids aren't some different breed of kids.  They have real issues, real tantrums and real nights where they don't sleep.

{Just like your bio kids.}

No, I didn't feel our two babies grow in my belly.   I didn't have heartburn for months or morning sickness.  But these kiddos are every bit as much mine as biological kids.  I truly feel no differently towards biological kids and adopted kids.  All four of my kids were sent to my arms in the way God had planned.  And if EVERYONE understood that, adoption wouldn't seem so "different."

I love to talk about adoption. I love to encourage it.  I love to even present the obligation we Christians have to the orphan.

Because I have a huge passion for my family.

And if the general population didnt already agree that parenting was a wonderful thing, I would blog about that.  Thank goodness, society already GETS that parenting and family is priceless.  It's important and rewarding, and everyone dreams of a life with a white picket fence and kids.

But the general population doesn't all agree that adoption is wonderful.  I would say a large part of our population never even CONSIDERS adopting, or any form of orphan care.  And because of that, I blog about adoption.  I advocate for the orphan.  I promote adoption.  I LOVE adoption.

Just like you love parenting.  
Adoption actually IS parenting for me. Adoption IS family for me.

So I want to talk about it with you.  I want to write about it.  I want it to become normal so our family and every family like us doesn't feel different.  (And this isn't for the parents' sake, we knew what we were getting into.  The unborn child who eventually became mine had no idea she/he was going to be "adopted.")

Once I feel like our society gets it, I will stop talking about it.  It won't be relevant.  Once everyone understands that kids need families, whether or not that family looks like them, I will stop my preaching on why we should take care off orphans - you know,  BESIDES that God wants us to.

Pharaoh's daughter

After my realization about Modern Moses, and my last blog post, my mind has continued to go back to the Pharaoh's daughter.

Yes, I know that I named my organization Modern Moses because of Moses' biological mother and her faith in her God that He would take care of her son.

But I also said and believe that we should be more like Pharaoh's daughter to the orphans.


Pharaoh's daughter isn't mentioned much in the bible, but what she did was inspiring, and difficult.

I have often wondered what made her defy her own father, a father who wasn't just any Egyptian man, but the RULER.  The ruler who had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to death.

What went through her mind as she found this helpless, crying baby in a basket?

Sorrow for the family who had sent him? Did she feel the desperation of another mother, deep within her soul?

Did she immediately know she was going to keep Moses?
Did her body shake with fear of her father's reaction to what she was about to do?
Did she worry her father would disown her, if she would be cast out of the "royal family?"
She was very publicly, very certainly going against her father's orders.

The bible says NOTHING of this.  It describes the encounter in a very matter of fact way.

Something I am almost sure of is this-  When Pharaoh's daughter picked up that baby, she looked into his eyes and saw a little life worth loving- and sacrificing for.   It wasn't in her heart to simply put him down, look the other way and forget about him.  She chose love, whether or not it meant sacrifice.

We don't know how the Pharaoh responded when he heard of what his daughter had done.
I can imagine anger.  It's easy to imagine anger from a man ordering the deaths of all male babies, isn't it?
Its hard to comprehend how much he probably loved his daughter, and how his love for her, brought on a sense of forgiveness and then acceptance.
However this scene played out in Pharaoh's home, we know from history that the daughter was successful in her plans to raise Moses as her own.
{You go, girl!!}

This is how we should be like the Pharaoh's daughter.

When we decide to take in an orphan child, we often don't know what we are sacrificing.
We can become scrutinized by others, for doing things differently than they would have.
We can lose some financial comfort.
We almost definitely will lose {lots and lots of} sleep.
We will agonize over parenting decisions, help with endless amounts of homework and die a little inside, each time that child gets hurt, made fun of, or struggles.

But looking into the eyes of a child, we can always see a life who is worth being loved, and worth every bit of that sacrifice.

Can't we? 

As a mother whom has adopted, I can relate to the Pharaoh's daughter.

When I see my beautiful children, I feel a deep sorrow for their birth mother.
I have also dealt with some sacrifices that come along with being a parent (biological or adoptive, truly). {SLEEP, mainly!}

I have sacrificed a good friend and her family, for what I believed was best for my family, when she simply didn't agree.   I didn't know that was going to happen when I brought a child into my home, but after loving my child, I knew that was a sacrifice I would be willing to make.

But heres the deal, guys.

When its all said and done, there will be little said about the sacrifices that were made.  What will be remembered is that the child got a new start, and had a memorable life, one that couldn't have been without orphan care.

Pharaoh's daughter isn't the hero for taking in and raising Moses.
But because she took him in, she allowed him to grow up to be a hero. 

Pretty powerful stuff, huh?

Modern Moses

In the past, I have tried to keep my blog mostly personal, about my family or my opinions on certain topics.

I specifically left out that I started an organization called Modern Moses, quickly following the adoption of my daughter, G.
I intended this organization to become a network of adoptive families in Iowa.  I wanted to link families with other families who shared a common core.  Parents who love on children who may not share the same genetics.  Children who share the same route in which they were lead to their forever families.  I long for a circle of love, trust, and mutual support within Modern Moses.

I have been praised for the name of this organization, Modern Moses, it holds such a biblical importance, everyone says.   God gave Moses an amazing ability to change history.  He was a very important person in the Christian faith.  Fellow Christians easily recognize his significance.  But he is also known in the Islam and Judaism faiths.  There is no denying that God truly used him for good.

Moses, the man, was a prince, a deliverer, a prophet.  He encountered God, one on one, several times.  God revealed His name to Moses, and ordered him to save His people.  It is through Moses' life that we witness several miracles.  The burning bush, in which, even all our children can tell you about, or the Red Sea parting to save the Israelites.  We see God speak to Moses and give him the Laws that all His people were to obey.

Truly, I could go on all day about Moses.  But I am not programmed as a preacher, and I would most definitely do him an injustice.

Going back to my Modern Moses organization, and why I named it that.

Looking at Moses, you could think, he was an influential and important enough man, and he alone is why I chose that name.

Not at all.

I chose the name because of the significance of Moses' birth mother.  Her faith that she could put her baby in a basket and it would float down the river and into the arms of another woman who would take in this child.  Her faith that he wouldn't drown, or be found by one of Pharaoh's men, and be killed.

(We could talk about Moses' life all day, but everything that he did, or every encounter he had with God, would never have happened if it wasn't for orphan care, if it wasn't for adoption.)

That faith in God, entrusting a child to be be cared for by a family who doesn't share blood, but just shares love and compassion.  Faith that by taking that risk, the child will live a better life.

That is what adoption was to me.  A huge step in faith.

BUT....
Why I am writing this blog today, is because of what I recently recognized.  And it ties to my recent blog posts.
I have been torn up inside about these Central American children living in our country.  I have been enraged by our response of putting them in facilities like prisons or warehouses.
And I have cried thousands of tears over their previous lives.  Lives that were so dangerous, and violent.  What these kids have seen in their own back yards makes me cringe.  These conditions in which a parent has to let go of their greatest treasure- their children.

Ive suffered imagining how bad a life or a world can be that a parent would send their own flesh and blood- their heart- away to a foreign land, with just a faith that they would survive.  A hope that wherever they land, they are loved, protected, and that they thrive.

{Did the light bulb just go on for you, too?}

This scenario has happened before.  And what has come out of it, was unquestionably one of the greatest stories of the Bible.
A mother, who sent her three month old baby down the river in a basket.  Hoping he would live.
Because the alternative was his death.  

These Central American kiddos' moms and dads have had to send their babies away on a dangerous trek to America, because the alternative most likely could be death, violence, poverty, corruption.

And we need to be the Pharaohs daughter.

It may go against everything logical, as I would have expected it to back in bible times.  Pharaoh had ordered all Hebrew baby boys to be killed.  But there was his own daughter taking one out of the water, and raising it as a prince.  It defies a sense of rationale.

And God works that way.

If God can work wonders with a man, raised by the same people who had ordered his death, what can He do with with these thousands of children being sent here?
Miracles.  Wonders.

These kids are my Modern Moses.
And every kid like them.

{And I just got it!}

So I can say that the adoption support group is going to be getting tweaked.  We will be an adoption support group with an orphan care focus.

(And I think God was guiding me here all along.)

James 1:27 and my biblical view on Orphan Care

Im not a preacher.
By no means.
Sometimes I feel as though my biblical knowledge is very much like a child's.  I feel immature and uneducated and can't use big fancy words to describe my faith and the scriptures in which I found my beliefs.  I think simple thoughts and speak simple language.


But James 1:27 has been an important scripture in my life the last year, give or take...so I'm gonna talk about it: 

 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

I personally understand that God has given me orphan care as a mission.
Similarly, in general, He has made me to be a mother.  

And in which, he gave me the heart to love and nurture children. 

 I am thankful for the four that live under my roof.  Glad that they are loved on everyday by both their mother and their father. 

 So many children in the world don't have that.

And while that burden doesn't lie on me alone to solve, it does rely on ALL of us.

If you know me at ALL, you will know that I have been speaking on the border children crisis these last few months.  Approximately 75,000 children are here-in our country- without parents, and morally, I feel that is a responsibility Christian households should take upon their shoulders.
I know many families that are willing to take children, physically, into their homes.  That is awesome!  An amazing example of love for the rest of the world to witness.  A testimony to the love that Jesus poured out onto us, the orphans who were lost until He saved us.

That being said, more families than not, are probably not in the right place to take in additional children into their homes.  And I understand that.  There are many legitimate reasons why it is not right for some.

Lets examine James 1:27.  
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and keep oneself from being polluted by the world.  
I don't specifically see the description of pure religion in Gods eyes as: ADOPTION.  I don't even see it saying FOSTERING children.
So I don't believe it is God's intention for all people to adopt or take orphans, or in my recent concerns, these Central American kids, into their homes.

...LOOK AFTER...

I do, however, believe that we ALL are intended to care for orphans, and display that care.
 
We can do that by supporting the families who take in these children.  Financially, emotionally, spiritually.  Taking the family a meal.  Babysitting for the family.
We can pray for the families, and for the children.
We can use our personal talents to benefit these kids.  A lawyer may donate time to represent a child who legally has no representation.  A bilingual adult may take the time to help teach the children some English.  A teacher may volunteer to help the children catch up in their education.  A doctor may donate his or her services for children who do not have health insurance.
But thats not all.
Be a mentor to these kids.  Take them to a play, a football game, to the mall.  Show an interest.
So many studies have showed, that the more adults show interest in one child, the more successful that child will grow to become.  

..And simply love the children.  It makes a world of difference.
 
My kids feel so loved by many families in our church.  So many adults take the time to talk to them, listen to them and give them hugs every Sunday morning.
Wouldn't those simple actions make a difference for a child who has experienced hell on Earth, who have had months, if not years without an adult showering them with affection?

I believe God calls us all to different things.  We are all living with His intention. But we all have a different purpose.
And adoption isn't for everyone.  Fostering is not for everyone.
But CARING FOR, and looking after orphans in their distress is a job anyone can do...just in different ways.  And I think each Christian should search their soul and heart, and find a way to show they care about orphan children.  

{Again, orphan care is my personal purpose, so I'm trying to educate others about it.  I don't negate or want to diminish all the other things our Father has called us to do.  I'm simply reminding American Christians in particular (because we don't encounter orphans on a daily basis) how God wants us to care for His children. }

The Month of Thankfulness

Its November, the month to remember all that we are thankful for.

And boy, do I have something to be thankful for today.
A good lab report.

You see, for the last about 4 weeks now, I have had this rash on my breast.  It looked like a bacterial infection that I have seen Dan have years ago.  I put anti fungal cream on it, I put essential oils on it.  Nothing was working  It wasn't going away.  It wasn't changing at all, in fact.

So last week, I was lying bed with Dan, when I just googled "rash on breast."  Try it.  Breast cancer.  Breast cancer.  Inflammatory breast cancer.  So I clicked on the sites, my heart starting to pound.

One website said that if it appeared to look like the skin of an orange, with the same texture, it was likely inflammatory breast cancer, with a low survival rate.
I hit Dan's chest, grabbing his attention quickly, and told him to look at the spot.  I asked him if he would consider it looking like an orange peel.  He looked for a second, gave it some thought and said a slow, "Yes."  I agreed.
My heart then sunk.  And said, "Well, guess what that could mean?  Cancer again."
I slammed the computer shut, turned the bedroom light off and went to the couch, where I knew I wouldn't sleep.  But I couldn't sit still... I paced.
 I went to the kitchen sink and stood over it, thinking I was going to throw up.  I stood and prayed.  After a few minutes I went back to the couch and opened the computer.
I also knew my friend, Rachel would still be awake on Facebook...
So I told her what I was thinking.  She immediately asked me if I wanted her to speak to her dad who was a doctor, a breast care doctor and surgeon.  Umm, YES!
She talked to him- He lives in Washington- and he said I needed to get into the doctor immediately, and demand that a biopsy was done, TOMORROW.

Next morning came and called the breast care doctor a minute after 8 am.  And after hearing about my rash and speaking to a nurse, they scheduled my appointment for 1:30 pm that day.

I went to the appointment with both my sons in tow.  And my doctor did an ultrasound and a biopsy.  He said he wasn't overly worried, but truly didnt know what it was.  Lab results would come back in two days.
Thankfully I have four children who provide a great distraction.  And the next two days weren't as terrible as they could have been.
Yesterday, Halloween day, my nurse called and said that although the lab results weren't back yet, she specifically called the lab and asked if there was any malignancy.  To that the lab technician said, "NO!"
Alleluia, Jesus.
{I had started re-writing my will, adding my two youngest kiddos in. }

So now, I can stop worrying (a little bit) about my future... Thank goodness!

See what I am talking about?  I have a lot to be thankful for.  As a person who has had a terminal illness, my perspective has changed.  And although I try to put my faith in God, and not fear, it is still very scary to think that I could be gone before my littles even head off to school, or not see my kids' graduations.

Enough on that!

Its November!  No more breast cancer awareness hoopla. Just pilgrims, Native americans, and turkeys.

Speaking about that, before our Halloween candy was sorted and put away, Alayna and I started on our Thanksgiving crafting!  I bet you can't guess which one my pink-obsessed daughter made.

What else am I thankful for??

These amazing people.