For adoptive parents: Respecting {and not labeling} our children

My beautiful daughters, G and A

As a new adoptive mama, there's something that has been bothering me for a few months.

{And though, I do not like to post negativity on my blog, and I hope this is not seen as negativity, I feel like this simple thing needs to be addressed...And it serves as a reminder for me.}

Recently, I had a friend call me and pointed out a newspaper article with picture of a mother and her daughter.  It read, "So and So with her adopted daughter, Whats her name."

Do you see what I saw (and the reason why this picture was pointed out to me in the first place)??

Her adopted daughter?  Isn't that strange?  If a mother was in the paper with her biological child, would it be labeled, "Susie Q and her biological son, John Doe"???

Absolutely not.

I have no idea if this mother reacted to this portrayal in the area paper.

I would have.  I most definitely would.  I would NEVER want my child to have that LABEL in the media. I choose to try not to label my children as anything other than gorgeous, amazing and wonderful. :)

But then we pose the question, why would the newspaper reporter feel the need to label that picture that way?  Has that mother in her own way already labeled her child as "adopted?"
When talking to a news reporter, or any other person for that matter, I don't introduce my kids as biological or adopted.  I say, "HERE ARE MY KIDS!  This is my circus!"

Some of my kids may LOOK a little more like me. And some may not.  And sometimes, honestly, I feel the need to explain my family.  I know people are curious about us.  We aren't exactly like other families.  And sometimes I do decipher between the biological and adopted, because our recent adoptions have been at the forefront of the Aguilera Family News.

But I don't really owe ANYONE that explanation.  And I need to remember that.

More importantly, my children don't owe anyone that.  And they certainly don't need to be known as my "biological" or my "adopted" children.  They are just my kids. {Lucky them!}

Let's, as a society, get away from the biological vs adopted titles.  And as fascinating as adoption is (And it really is!), the best thing for the child is to see the "ordinary" in it.   Children want need to feel like they are a part of a family, and not an outsider within it.   They need to feel like they belong to the family and not be reminded that they came to it in an unusual way.

God adopted me in His family.  I don't walk around calling myself an "adopted" child of God.

I am just His daughter.  I am just His child.

And thats truly how our children should feel every day of their lives.

As an ending note, I do not think that being called an "adopted" child is a negative name.  Having not been adopted as a child, I do not know what weight this carries.  I believe with every bit of my heart that adoption is wonderful, a blessing and an absolute picture of God's grace.

I simply feel that we do not need to label our society's children by the mode in which they entered into a family.

They will acquire many titles throughout their lives by their own accord.

Lets respect the childrens' right to make their identities  in which they want to be viewed, and not cast any upon them without their consent.