You see, in two weeks, I will officially become "Mom" to one of the two most beautiful girls in the world. Although she has been "mine" in my heart since the moment I laid eyes on her gorgeous head full of dark hair, her beautiful brown eyes and long skinny fingers, it just makes my worries disappear and my heart elated having that legal paper.
This blog is for you out there who had thought about adoption but the process seems too intimidating. It's for you out there struggling to conceive and not knowing where to go next. It's for you single people who have not had luck finding "the one" to start a family with and are itching for children anyway. It's for you out there with kids already, curious about adoption but worry that you won't love "someone else's kid" as much as your own biological children.
Im gonna tell you the facts. They are my facts. I know other stories differ. I know there have been adoption horror stories. I know children don't come with instructions and sometimes they don't meet your expectations.
The facts are there are over 100,000 children in foster care right now in the US.
There are millions of orphans around the world.
And I can't even fathom the number of scared mothers in the world today unprepared to parent and needing a loving home for their unborn children.
The facts are THOSE CHILDREN NEED YOU!
While you may be struggling to conceive the perfect child in your likeness, God has millions of children available in HIS likeness that need homes. They need families. They need love. And that being said, I believe you need them!
Children can teach you so much about yourself. They can teach you blind, unwavering, nonjudgemental love. We adults need that too. There's something majestic, although sometimes exhausting, about a child being dependant solely on you. Someone that you are actually keeping alive. That little baby learns unconditional love from you.
My beautiful little princess came to us, after conceiving two wonderful, amazing kiddos biologically. She came to us through the foster care system. She came to us at four days old, but with a rough start. She came to us needing all the things other kids need. Stability. Security. Her basic needs to be met. She needed to bond with her caregivers. She needed to feel loved.
And it was easy. Did you hear that? It was easy!
Yes. I have children biologically. Did I worry that I couldn't love another child as much as I loved them? You bet. I probably obsessed over that question for years.
Then G was placed in our home, one hour after a "heads up, baby's coming" call. She was so tiny in her car seat. So covered in black hair. So quiet. And I was in love. I can honestly say I love her no more and no less than A and P. She's my daughter, the same as they are my children.
I didn't physically create her. But God did. And He knew she was coming here. He knew I would be her mommy. The path she had to take to get here is incredible. The obstacles that I had to go through (a cancer diagnosis meant no more babies), and the obstacles that she had to endure that landed her in my living room on the evening of April 15th 2013, it is nothing short of a miracle.
God knows the road He wants you to walk, because He knows where it leads you. I had cancer at 27 with 2 small children at home. It seemed devastating at the time. But cancer is the SOLE reason, we chose foster care as our method of adoption. After medical expenses, we could not afford $30,000 for a private adoption. Nor did I feel it to be fair to fundraise, asking for financial help so quickly after I had received so much help when I was sick.
Cancer sucked. But it ultimately lead me to G. It's amazing. Who can say "I'm so glad I had cancer!"?? I don't know many who would say it.
But I do. How thankful I am. Thank you, God for that illness. It put so much in perspective and started our process to become foster parents at JUST the right time.
So. You... What is in your way? What thoughts or misconceived ideas do you need to overcome?
You dont need to be rich. I will personally help you fundraise if you go the private adoption route. I don't care if I don't know you. I buy tshirts I see on Facebook of etsy all the time. I bought one a year ago that said LOVE MAKES A FAMILY for a couple that I didn't know. A month later, that man was in my living room, as a worker on Gs case. His adopted daughter is now Gs best friend. (So what if they are still infants? :) ) And his wife is now a good friend and a support on this parenting journey.
Again. Do you see how God works?
If you haven't found a spouse yet but are ready to be a parent, DO IT! A child's love is grounding. It's pure. You will find out that a spouse is not entirely necessary. You will find family and friends will be there for you when you need it. Not only because they love YOU, but they will love that baby!!
If you want to foster, it's a good way to get your "feet wet" while really providing a comforting support for children who really need some security and "normalcy." It doesn't cost a thing and the children's financial needs are typically provided by the state.
I am, will always be, a supporter of families. I happen to love how God created the little (or not so little) family unit under each roof. If you are considering adoption, IF you even have a TINY inkling towards that path, seek me out. I will be here. I will listen. I will pray. I will probably cry. Both happy and frustrated tears. There will be a time for both. If my family, my husband, my three kids or just me, can show you, tell you what this experience means to us, let us. If you need to see G laughing, smiling, babbling to see what adoption looks like, I will plop her right in your lap.
The process is only scary for a little while.
Then there are YEARS of joy to follow.
And you will never be sorry that you took a chance on love.
